152 insights into my soul expectations

ten days in

The new year is here. Fully here. Like happening for ten days now. I must say that when it comes to keeping resolutions, I am NAILING it, people! Just kidding. I’m actually not. But that’s neither here nor there because I didn’t put a lot of energy into making a list of resolutions.

And here are my reasons. 

#1. I hate lists (yes, I do see the irony in the fact that I just wrote that on a list.) The older I get, the more I am starting to “get myself” and the more I realize that (for me) lists are not a compilation of things TO DO. For me, lists are clarified expectations that will weigh on me mercilessly and articulate point by point all the things I didn’t get done.  Lists condemn me. 

#2. I lose lists. So that’s a problem, too. 

#3. It doesn’t really work for me (the whole list of resolutions.) I can’t focus on that many things at once. I can actually just barely feed and clothe us all. Which leads me to my actual resolution…

In 2016, I’m attempting to be my everyday self, living my everyday life, with more laughter and less stress. I want to joke with my kids. I want to be light-hearted. I want to not attach value or worth to meaningless things. I want to carry my blessings as blessings and not burdens. I want to chill out a little and reflect a lot. 

So far, I’ve had mixed results. I have taken moments with my kiddos to hang more, to listen with more focus, to ask questions, to let stories ramble on and on until they get to their confusing ending or not-so-funny punchline. I’ve been less worried about laundry and dishes, but it’s also a bit out of hand after ten days. So I’m still in search of that balance of not stressing but still getting ‘er done. You know what I’m saying?

Only two things are sure in life: dishes and laundry. 

But I’m trying to find ways to add a dose of light to the every day. One big hit has been the addition of a playlist to the bath time routine. The girls love that the same songs play as they splash around (including Splish-Splash and some tunes from Teen Beach Movie 2), and they’re less likely to fuss about getting out when the “get out of the tub” song starts (which is “Stuck Like Glue” by Sugarland. Because seriously, soak a kid, lotion them up, and then try to peel on their tightly-fitted jammies. Stuck like glue pretty much sums it up.) 

So there you have it. Chasing a light heart; or maybe embracing it and letting other things chase themselves. I dunno. 

In other news, this little baby…

…is now 8 months old. In the new year, he is pulling himself up on furniture, added table food to his diet, and now says “da-da.”

And he waves like a boss. 

We’re straight up nuts about the baby around here. So that’s super fun.

In other other news, I entered an essay contest and was selected to be published in an anthology! The book will come out in 2016, and my essay is on the topic of race, specifically about my thoughts on being white. The whole thing kind of came out of nowhere, but in the end it’s been interesting on several levels. I enjoyed the process of reflecting and forcing out words. I’ve had several rich conversations with others about issues of race and discrimination. And I get to experience the publishing process in a very small-scale, low-stress way.  For the win!

Well…that’s little bit about life in these parts. I hope your new year is bring new hope into your same old life. 

Thanks for reading. 


1 thought on “ten days in”

  1. Cheers to light-hearted chasings! I'll drink to that as well! And wow! Awesome on the essay…I know you poured a lot of yourself (and others) into that.

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