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152 insights into my soul kingdom living

Dear Facebook

Well, it’s time. We both know why we’re here. It’s over. I wish I could say, “It’s not me, it’s you,” but I’m not so sure any more. I think we both have some blame to claim.

The thing is…this isn’t a good fit for me. I’ve known that for years. I’ve said on numerous occasions that I’m a better person when I’m not on Facebook. I’ve said over and over that while I don’t like many pieces of it, I don’t want to give up the connection to others. But now I ask myself…is this really connection?

Is it connection to see pictures of families you haven’t talked to in years?

Is it connection to know random bits of information about people who are basically strangers?

Is it connection to count on Facebook for updates instead of actually reaching out to people? If anything, Facebook has made me relationally lazy.

Maybe the reason we feel so disconnected as human beings is because we have bought into a cheap version of connection, one based on likes instead of being known.

But besides the connection aspect, I’m seeing a new pattern in my mind and heart. I’m starting to sort people into groups, starting to mentally roll my eyes at the idea of seeing certain folks in person. I’m carrying hurt from words that were probably casually typed, not meant at me, but sitting heavy on my heart.

This is not health. This is not relationships. This is, at best, an unhealthy practice, and at worst, possibly an addiction.

Besides a false sense of connection, you are the HQ for so many things I don’t want in my life: conversations lacking nuance. News bites as entertainment. Discussions without context. Opinions without consequence.

I understand that a lot of this is me. As a feeler. As a mom. As a person who is pulled in a lot of conflicting directions between politics, religion, and education. I’m not trying to communicate that you are bad for everyone; I’m simply admitting that you’re toxic for me.

It all comes down to this: I desperately want to love Jesus with everything and genuinely love others. You do not help me do either.

You consume time that could be given to growing actual relationships. You spread half truths and false narratives. You take up mental space that pushes into my creativity and compassion. You foster polarized groups that exist to oversimplify difficult ideas and then stroke or attack voices who chime in. You lure me in with connection and then deliver ads.

No, thanks. I’m over it.

I know that if I want something different than what I have, I have to do something different than what I’m doing.

I guess this is goodbye.

So long, Facebook. I might miss you at first, but I’m genuinely looking forward to life without you.

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