A new personal record.

11 minutes. A mere 660 seconds. Amazing, isn’t it? That’s the total amount of time it took me to find a pair of jeans in TJ Max last night. For me- that is a new record that shatters all other records by a good half hour! My strategy? Let’s just say its all part of my new quest to be honest with myself.

Let me explain. The “old me” would have done this.

I would go into a store knowing full well that I am a size 12, which is what sparked this whole shopping trip in the first place. I would wander around a bit, selecting several different sizes and styles of jeans. I would think things like, This looks like a larger 10…these look really big for an 8…this style is kind of different…maybe I should experiment with something like this. Inevitably, I would end up in the dressing room with 10 pairs of jeans, most that don’t zip and the others that are just awful. Eventually, I would either leave the store frustrated, after having run out of time or just grab any pair that looks decent and try them on at home.

Oh but not the new, honest, post-pregnancy-times-two me. This is how it went.

I head into the store and go to jeans. I know pretty well what I want. Tapered leg? No, thanks. Size 10? Not for another 12 pounds. The ones with colors, jewels, embroidery? Not me. I need something that goes well with everything in my closet, namely cotton. Strange lengths? Negative. Juniors section? Never again. (On a side note- what is with juniors clothes being so small? Seriously, I think in the Juniors section I wear like a 44 or something. No wonder teens feel they need to be skinny- they just want to shop in the age-appropriate department!) In minutes, I am in the dressing room with four pairs of size 12 jeans. Try them all on…one is definitely superior AND is cheaper…and I’m out.

Bam. 11 minutes.

I’m finding that this new honest me is not only a better shopper but also a better wife, better mom, better friend..and happier me. It all started when one day it occurred to me that I am 26, closer to 30 than 20, and I’m tired of wasting time. I don’t want to try on 10’s when I’m a 12. I don’t want to say everything’s fine when its not. I’m done doing things for appearances…I really just want to be me.

So what is “me” exactly? That’s the tricky part. But I think I’m getting there, and it starts with being honest about where I am in life. My kitchen is usually messy. My car is even worse. I don’t always love my teens- and they surely don’t always love me. My husband and I are fighting the things in our life that threaten to tear us apart- mainly our own selfishness. I love my little guys but am not as patient or creative as I imagined I would be as a mom.

So there you go. The good news is- I can grow. The better news is- I am growing. The best news is- God wants me to grow and is doing most of the work inside me.

This honest living stuff is pretty refreshing. In fact, on a scale of 1 to 10, I’d say its a 12 =)

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